My Life- it's as fun as puttin' lipstick on a squirrel

Meditation for the Day Thinking about God in love and worship drives away evil. It is the thought before that the hosts of evil flee. The thought of a Power greater than yourself is the call for a life-line to rescue you from temptation. The thought of God banishes loneliness and dispels gloom. it summons help to conquer your faults. Think of God as often as possible. Use the thought prayerfully and purposefully. It will carry your thoughts away from material things and toward the spiritual things that make life worthwhile. The above meditation hit home for me  on June 17, 2011. And yet when I dust it off today it really feels relevant. With this Christmas fast approaching we all feel the pressures. Whether they be to decorate, bake 1,000 cookies, get the "right" holiday picture, or buy too many presents. What I want to feel this season is LOVE, JOY, PEACE and HOPE. So all of the above will be set aside so I can worship and praise God for giving his SON to...

  So. I am co-leading a recovery group and guess what step is next. Step 4. Each time I study a step I think to myself. Man...this one is a doozy...but the next one is as well! :) Love walking through the steps with a new set of eyes! here is what A.A. says about 4th steppin' it: "But in A.A. we slowly learned that something had to be done about our vengeful resentments, self-pity, and unwarranted pride. We had to see that every time we played the big shot, we turned people against us. We had to see that when we harbored grudges and planned revenge for such defeats, we were really beating ourselves with the club of anger we had intended to use on others. We learned that if we were seriously disturbed, our first need was to quiet that disturbance, regardless of who or what we thought caused it." God Bless ya'll, Tracy

ahhhh. being a victim. dusted this off from June 2011 This was  a meditation for the day back in June 2011. words of wisdom for anyone "breathing today" I am not a victim of others, but rather a victim of my expectations, choices and dishonesty. When I expect others to be what I want them to be and not who they are, when they fail to meet my expectations, I am hurt. When my choices are based on self-centeredness, I find I am lonely and distrustful. I gain confidence in myself, however, when I practice honesty in all my affairs. When I search my motives and am honest and trusting, I am aware of the capacity for harm in situations and can avoid those that are harmful. perhaps I do need a meeting.... Here and today in 2012 I choose to walk in Faith with my Savior Jesus Christ. Good or Bad he gets me through. I hope you can walk with the Lord. And if you do God Bless you.

So many people have asked us how is the adoption going? I think it's going fantastic. Now if you asked the tween we are adopting she would tell you otherwise! A year ago today we were going to " adoption classes" . Today we are 30 days into 180 days of adoption. The trial period if you will. But as soon as the paint was dry on the hot pink walls and the last tote of miscellaneous have nots was moved in it was done. I don't need papers to say I am a Mom. My heart breaks for a child who has been disappointed over and over and over again for 12 years. The abuse/neglect did not end when she was taken from her birth parents, not the first time, nor the second. The hurts continued. In the form of many placements, residential centers, disrupted adoptions because people could not put up with what she put out. Failure after failure after failure. Ball dropped...too many times to count. So here we sit with a grenade. A fine product of the foster care system. Full of anger,...

Dusting this meditation off from July 10, 2011 ·   Meditation for the Day Expect miracles of change in people's lives. Do not be held back by unbelief. People can be changed and they are often ready and waiting to be changed. Never believe that human nature cannot be changed. We see changed people everyday. Do you have the faith to make those changes possible? Modern miracles happen every day in the lives of people. All miracles are in the realm of personalities. Human nature can be changed and is always being changed. But we must have enough faith so that we can be channels for God's strength into the lives of others.

Contempt of the Proud Dusting this one off from  July 18, 2011 I am proud to say that the person I was dealing with now does not anger me ...with a few healthy boundaries and some good old prayer...times are much better! :) Below is a blog I receive from a ministry. I am currently dealing with a Proud person. This individual is materialistic -peppers me with "money" questions all the time. This person is the complete polar opposite of me. This person actually brings anger to me daily. I know things about this person that would bring their life as they know if to an end if I simply open my mouth. I don't wish to share those secrets with others as it would hurt their mate. I need prayers to indeed not Mock the Mocker. I need prayer to NOT stoop to the level of battle that I endure daily by simply interacting with this individual. Please pray that my tongue not be my weapon of choice. Pray for peace and understanding and pray that I can continue to pray blessi...

Been there , done that...lost the t-shirt...   I know the torment of drinking compulsively to quiet my nerves and my fears. I also know the pain of white-knuckled sobriety. Today, I do not forget the unknown person who suffers quietly, withdrawn and hiding in the desperate relief of drinking. I ask my God to give me His guidance and the courage to be willing to be His instrument to carry within me compassion and unselfish actions. Let the group continue to give me the strength to do with others what I cannot do alone. Copyright 1990 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS WORLD SERVICES, INC. I just ...ummm...love guitar? haha! this is at Damneck. one of those mornings we all woke up hungover and full of energy! (circa early 90's? )

How do you do it? dusted this old writing off from: July 26, 2011 People always ask how do you do it? They say you are so strong. I say no you are wrong. I don't do it and I am weak. I did not quit drinking. God took the urge to drink away from me simply because I could not do it. I had tried and tried and failed many times. It was at that moment that I believe he said. "Well, I guess I am gonna have to do this for you so you can move on girl." I was stuck. And he pulled me out of the mire (sp?) He had bigger plans for me and my propensity for getting stuck repeatedly was really getting on his nerves. so he took the wheel. end of story. That's how it happened. In my weakness he stepped in. "Hallowed be Thy Name." What does that mean to us? Here "name" is used in the sense of "spirit." The words mean praise to God for His spirit in the world, making us better. We should be especially grateful for God's spirit, which...

wrote this one back in July 2011. Before: I wanted to know if I did something what was in it for me? After: give until it hurts and then give some more.  I now choose to be the hands and feet of my God. I serve others. Not myself. giving freely feels good. and I sometimes enjoy the shock factor. ;) meditation relocated from AA. To be self-supporting through my own contributions was never a strong characteristic during my days as a practicing alcoholic. The giving of time or money always demanded a price tag. As a newcomer I was told "we have to give it away in order to keep it." As I began to adopt the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous in my life, I soon found it was a privilege to give to the Fellowship as an expression of the gratitude I felt in my heart. My love of God and of others became the motivating factor in my life, with no thought of return. I realize now that giving freely is God's way of expressing Himself through me. Copyright 1990 ALCOHOLI...

   Dusting this one off from Thursday, July 28, 2011 I wrote this a year ago...I have now been sober for 3 1/2 years. I have a come a long way. Yet still have a LONG way to go. old habits die hard....in this case it would be my quick temper...and defensive nature. God is assisting me with those. :) read on to see where I was a year ago.   head in sand, drink cuz you're mad, drink cuz you're happy, drink to make others mad. drink cuz you're sad. It's almost unbelievable to look back over the last 4 -5 years and see the change that has been made in my life. yes I said 4-5 years. and you say: you been sober 2 1/2. It took THAT long to get it right folks. it's work. but it's worth it. keep the faith! Trouble ^*^*^ "There was a time when we ignored trouble, hoping it would go away. Or, in fear and depression, we ran from it, but found it was still with us. Often, full of unreason, bitterness, and blame, we fought back. These mistaken ...

Dusting this one off from July 29, 2011    I have come a long way in the worry game. I tend to put most of my worries... nearly all of my worries in my hands...then lift them up and give them to GOD. seriously...it's very simple and makes life go a lot easier!   flashback: I  need to read this every day. just to remember how important it is. I was awake way too much last night worrying about the past. rollin' back and forth , too and fro. did no good. did not change a thing. have a super day peeps. There are two days in every week about which we should not worry, two days that should be kept from fear and apprehension. One of these days is yesterday, with its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday. We cannot undo a single act we performed. We cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone beyon...

wrote this one back in 08/11 ahhh yes. the struggle with resentment.  resentment is a cover up word for hate.  you are supposed to love your neighbor.  I struggle with that. so now I shall embark on a two week pray-a-thon. I will get back to ya on how it works. I know praying blessings on a difficult person works. It worked with my Dad. stay tuned... 08/12- pray-a-thon did not FIX it...but it did make the situation better. The best lesson I learned is that I can't control the person that irritates me. I can control my reaction! I can also set up healthy boundaries and not LET them in my sandbox...catch my drift? Resentment "If you have a resentment you want to be rid of, if you will pray for the person or the thing you resent, you will be free. If you will ask in prayer for everything you want for yourself to be given to them, you will be free. Ask for their health, their prosperity, their happiness, and you will be free. Even when you don'...

Sitting with God...without noise/ without activity....hmmmmm   back in 8/2011 I read this meditation...I did not change. this year I started a study and woke at 5 am. I was doing very well meeting with God early. it really sets the tone for the day. Then the adoption process started rolling and with 2 room makeovers, a move in and a move out BAM. God time was erased....after an "unglued" moment yesterday....God time will now be reinstated...after all...he is my strength! Here I sit with God (in the middle of the city park) doing my Bible Study. Funny..my daughter caught me in my quiet time! :) with Cora in the house sometimes this never happens. must add it back in to schedule. (very prophetic Tracy) haha~! Meditation for the Day Refilling with the spirit is something you need every day. For this refilling with the spirit, you need these times of quiet communion, away, alone, without noise, without activity. You need this dwelling apart, this shutt...

dusting this one off from:  Thursday, August 11, 2011    Meditation for the Day He who made the ordered world out of chaos and set the stars in their courses and made each plant to know its season, He can bring peace and order out of your private chaos if you will let Him. God is watching over you, too, to bless you and care for you. Out of the darkness He is leading you to light, out of unrest to rest, out of disorder to order, out of faults and failure to success. You belong to God and your affairs are His affairs and can be ordered by Him if you are willing. Meet Cora Michelle Niles...named after my Nana (Cora) and my beautiful high school friend Michelle!     just remember...before you get mad at a person...think..what is hurting them. what has hurt them? why are they really reacting like this? give 'em a chance...if I can change...THEY can! :) it's so easy A caveman can do it! :)   God Bless ya'll, Tracy

I wrote this on Friday, August 12, 2011    busybody...interfere...these words jumped off the page from the following email that I receive daily. I want to interfere. I want to be a busy body. but today I shall resist..and the next day and the next until the will is dead and then perhaps I will become a force for good... That was over a year ago. I must say that over the last year I have turned more towards the Word. diving into scripture is one way to keep the gossip and the negativity away. But when it does get close and perhaps even creep into my mind I try very very hard to find where God is in the situation. And importantly pray for those that "bother" me. Pray and LOVE my enemies. a year ago that sounded impossible. But with God ALL things are possible! Meditation for the Day The moment a thing seems wrong to you or a person's actions to be not what you think they should be, at that moment begins your obligation and responsibility to pray f...

This was a meditation for Monday, August 15, 2011    Meditation for the Day "Where two or three are banded together, I will be there in the midst of them." When God finds two or three people in union, who only want His will to be done, who want only to serve Him, He has a plan that can be revealed to them. The grace of God can come to people who are together in one place with one accord. A union like this is miracle-working. God is able to use such people. Only good can come through such consecrated people, brought together in unified groups for a single purpose and of a single mind. this disobedient bird reminds me of a little girl I know!!!!! last summer this little chickadee kept jumping out of his nest...Bryan would patiently put him back in ...only to find him back in the grass minutes later...soon Momma bird coaxed the baby into our neighbors back yard where SHE could complete her job of ....getting the BIRD outta the NEST!:) we were simply mak...

Self Pity by D.H. Lawrence I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself. did you see G.I. Jane? loved it. I did. but what stuck with me was this poem. I wonder if it hit people in the gut like it did me? 2 sentences. The other thing that stuck with me was the part where she shaved her head. Yes. stuck like glue. for years I have wanted to do just that. And I did! What a glorious experience to just take the guard off and shave it! :) fun. You should try it. It's liberating. It's scary. It's silly and it's fun. guess what. My head is NOT cute like Demi's ! oh well. you won't find me wallerin' in self pity! right here is the part where ...you can't chicken out! Hair she is! :)

Borrowed this one from AA back in 08/11. the photo below is taken by My daughter who at that time was 4. It's raw, it's real...and it's ME. she loves ME. not the makeup I wear. Not who I was but who I am. She just loves me. And I just love her! you can see it in my eyes. "We never apologize to anyone for depending upon our Creator. We can laugh at those who think spirituality the way of weakness. Paradoxically, it is the way of strength. The verdict of the ages is that faith means courage. All men of faith have courage. They trust their God. We never apologize for God. Instead we let Him demonstrate, through us, what He can do. We ask Him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what He would have us be. At once, we commence to outgrow fear." ~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, How It Works, pg. 68~ God Bless ya'll, the alcoholic who is not so anonymous.

Dusting this one off from 8/11. enjoy! Here's a story with an interesting twist that really makes you think about how God works in anyone... A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her daughter was very sick with a fever. She left her work and stopped by the store to get some pills for her daughter. When returning to her car she found that she had locked her keys in the car. She was in a hurry to get home to her sick daughter, she didn't know what to do, so she called her home and told the baby sitter what had happened and that she did not know what to do. The baby sitter told her that her daughter was getting worse. She said, "You might find a coat hanger and use that to open the door." The woman looked around and found an old rusty coat hanger that had been thrown down on the ground possibly by someone else who at some time or other had locked their keys in their car. Then she looked at the hanger and said, "I don...

I shared this on Facebook 8-22-11! A 47-year-old Austrian man gave away his entire $4.7 million fortune after concluding that his wealth and lavish spending were keeping him from real life and happiness. Karl Rabeder told the Daily Telegraph (London), “I had the feeling I was working as a slave for things I did not wish for or need. It was the biggest shock in my life when I realized how horrible, soulless, and without feeling the ‘five-star’ lifestyle is.” His money now funds charities he set up to help people in Latin America. Almost a year later and we have paid off over $26,911.71 worth of DEBT! and it all started with a little Jeep Liberty. A lovely silver job...with heated seats. A RADIO! power everything...I now roll around in a beat up 4-runner with torn seats, back windows that roll down...but do NOT roll up and a radiator that is very very unhappy most of the time..oh and NO radio! but I do have Cora's singing from the back seat and FINANCIAL PEACE! I bid...

I "relocated" this an exact year ago from Proverbs 31 Ministries.It was posted as a note on Facebook. Since we are waist deep in the adoption process I am dusting off old writings and reusing them here in the BLOG. Just last night these words were prayed over me at my church. coincidence...me thinks not. Yes LORD. I am listening. I am willing. Thank you for your blessings each day. Amen! Are you ready to become a more Jesus-dependent, God-confident woman whose assurance is found in Him alone?  If so, when you find yourself standing in the shadow of self-doubt, instead of wishing for more self-confidence, pray for lasting God-confidence!  Then turn towards the Light so your heart can focus on and live in the security of His promises: • When you feel inadequate, remember God says: You are CHOSEN. “‘You are my witnesses,’ declares the Lord, ‘and my servant whom I have chosen, so that you may know and believe me and understand that I am he.’” (Isa. 43:10a, NIV) • When y...

probably borrowed from an AA email...written around September 2011. Meditation for the Day Spiritual progress is the law of your being. Try to see around you more and more of beauty and truth, knowledge and power. Today try to be stronger, braver, more loving as a result of what you did yesterday. This law of spiritual progress gives meaning and purpose to your life. Always expect better things ahead. You can accomplish much good through the strength of God's spirit in you. Never be too discouraged. The world is sure to get better, in spite of setbacks of war, hate, and greed. Be part of the cure of the world's ills, rather than part of the disease. Daily we can do this...minute by minute YOU can be part of the cure...it's so easy to fall back into worldly ways...gossip, stinkin' thinkin' , cruel comments...just stop yourself. even if you get half that bad word outta your mouth...just StOp...push reset and carry on! :) have a blessed day! the handbir...

I found this one from  September 13, 2011 Meditation for the Day----probably relocated from Our Daily Bread When you call on God in prayer to help you overcome weakness, sorrow, pain, discord, and conflict. God never fails in some way to answer the appeal. When you are in need of strength for yourself or for the help of some other person, call on God in prayer. The power you need will come simply, naturally, and forcefully. Pray to God not only when you need help, but also just to commune with Him. The spirit of prayer can alter an atmosphere from one of discord to one of reconciliation. It will raise the quality of thought and word and bring order out of chaos. ready to GO LEARN!

dusted this one off from November 2011~ but it came to mind just now...my super beautiful friend Becky may need to read these words right now! :) Our Deepest Fear by Marianne Williamson Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure.... It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us. It is not just in some; it is in everyone. And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others. Never play small...you have small people watching you! :) big feet, a band aid and a smile!

Found this jewel back in October 2011. Actually I am thinking of QUITTING cell phones. for 3 phones we have a bill of over 180 bucks a month. I am thinking a house phone is all we need. Yep. time to NOT be always available!!!!!! Amen! Bible VS cellphones Ever wonder what would happen if we treated our Bible like we treat our cell phone? What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets? What if we flipped through it several times a day? What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it? What if we used it to receive messages from the text? What if we treated it like we couldn't live without it? What if we gave it to Kids as gifts? What if we used it when we traveled? What if we used it in case of emergency? This is something to make you go....hmm...where is my Bible? Oh, and one more thing. Unlike our cell phone, we don't have to worry about our Bible being disconnected because Jesus already paid the bill. Makes you st...

This was a little something that was forwarded to me in an email back in December of 2011. I saved it for this long...and it still reminds me of the way sometimes people may view myself...or perhaps my son. Read on and enjoy! :) His name is Bill.  He has wild hair, wears a T-shirt with holes in it, jeans, and no shoes. This was literally his wardrobe for his entire four years of college. He is brilliant. Kind of profound and very, very bright. He became a Christian while attending college .Across the street from the campus is a well-dressed, very conservative church. They want to develop a ministry to the students but are not sure how to go about it. One day Bill decides to go there. He walks in with no shoes, jeans, his T-shirt, and wild hair. The service has already started and so Bill starts down the aisle looking for a seat. The church is completely packed and he can't find a seat.  By now, people are really looking a bit uncomfortable, but no o...

Here is a writing I gleaned from a website many moons ago on November 30, 2011    Volunteer at a shelter or a soup kitchen. If you don’t know where to find one, ask and I will find one for you. If the times don’t work for you, make some sandwiches, put them in a back pack and go downtown and hand them out. It will feel awkward at first, you will get over it quickly.   Give money to these organizations. Do some research, find out how they are helping to get people OUT of homelessness—they are the best in my mind. Hand out bottled water in the summer. Again, go downtown, you will know who is homeless. More of the homeless die in the heat of the summer than do on the streets in the winter. Hire someone homeless or help them find a job. Having proper identification and transportation, etc… make it hard enough. Give someone a chance, gaps in employment is to be expected.   Become an advocate for a homeless person. There are plac...

Good Quotes! I gathered these back on May 9, 2012 ...and I do believe they are worth a share! I found them in a blog and I do apologize...I can't seem to find the link to give cred where credit is due: If you’re not familiar with Brené, she’s a researcher, speaker, and author of “The Gifts of Imperfection.” And I can tell you after listening to her, I’m inspired. Not just as a homeschooler, but as a parent and a person. So I scoured the #mom2summit hash tag on Twitter and rounded up 25 of her quotes to share with you. I hope you love them as much as I do. 1. We need to change what we say and what we allow to be said in front of us. 2. There are infinite numbers of do overs for your teen girls. 3. The most powerful teaching moments are the ones where you screw up. 4. Do you light up when your kids are coming in the room or do you become the instant critic? 5. If we own the story then we can write the ending. 6. Every time you watch the Jersey Shore, a book commits...

This is an old writing I did on  Feb 2, 2012. as I am neck deep in the adoption process I will share some of my first writings! :) I set off today in search of a homeless person. Long story short. Bryan got a GREAT jacket from the Beltline Railroad. He has too many jackets so this one was earmarked for PIN Ministries. I got a burr in my fur and decided that I would personally hand this to a homeless person. TODAY. At the beach. Off went Cora and I. with a carload of determination and donations. first stop: Birdneck and Va. Bch Blvd. GREAT spot. plenty of homeless. they used to live in the woods right there. easy job right? WRONG. Lot's of people. but were they homeless? no. just standing at the bustop. well . shoot. now , How do you walk up and ask. hi, i have a free jacket. are you homeless? are you cold? moving on second stop: Judeo Christian Outreach. many people milling around. but Cora had a great observation. Mom. they all have jackets. onward: look...

The Time has Come   This song shall start this blog. It's by Hillsong United it's perfect for this season of the Niles Family. It's time for a New Normal. Let me unpack the Old Normal for you.... Book Club Small Group Library on Thursdays with Cora Parks with Cora Nap times Art Classes for Cora Gym Classes for Cora Dinners with friends I just stole some of those from my planner (yes a paper calendar ) in the month of June. June rolled in lazy and slow. Cora and I planned to go to all 10 parks in our lovely city of Chesapeake. Free Movies on Wednesdays, Art on Tues, Gym on Saturdays...bucolic , lazy summer days. Fast Forward to July. I have told many of you we are in the adoption process. We started this journey last September 2011. It's been long, slow and there have been ups and downs. But we were approved and immediately hit the ground running to find a child perfect for our family! After reviewing many case files we were actually introduced to a very a...