My Life- it's as fun as puttin' lipstick on a squirrel

It seems that our family has never just been in the normal range. There always seems to be something going haywire. But I have noted over my last 4 1/2 decades of living that neither is anyone's family ....normal that is. What is normal. pinterest? heavens no. Straight A students with crest white smiles? negative Mom's with make up just right and clothing from this decade? Never Normal is a house that is a home. Hairballs in the corner. Rings around the tub from dirty tired children that played outside all day. Normal is one sock that never gets matched but we don't give up hope and keep it around. Normal is sand in your trunk that you never got around to vacuuming out from two summers ago. Normal is the ring of the doorbell and the crash of bikes hitting the driveway as friends arrive at the exact moment you sit down to eat....the kids can play in a bit. Normal is an empty guinea pig water bottle and a dryer that cut off hours ago and a sink full of dis...

dear daughter, yes you. the one who does not want to be my daughter anymore. I get it. I truly do. The neglect and the abuse you were raised in . . . well they make this easy for you. It's easy for you not to trust me and Dad with making decisions for you. It's easy for you to not trust that we love you or care for you or would give our lives for you.     What is not easy for you is to understand just how much we do love you. We love you enough to let you go. We hear your voice loud and clear. I have scars to prove that I have heard your rage. But the Father has asked me to write this letter of forgiveness. I am slam sold out to Jesus and when he asks ...I say Yes Lord.  So here goes. I forgive you. I forgive you for biting me, slapping me, scratching me, hitting me, saying false statements about me and most of all I forgive you for yelling awful things at your little sister. I forgive you  and still love you just as the Father loves you. I will pra...

I can't remember the last time I blogged. My heart was ripped open yesterday by one simple question. So perhaps this will be a rant of sorts which is NOT my style but I need to let it out. I sat down this morning and painted it out but I am still reeling so here goes. I am fat. This is self inflicted due to comfort eating and lack of exercise mixed with coming very near my middle age of 45 and grief. Now just typing that made me absolutely exhausted. Clothes. too tight. Underwear. forget them fitting. Budget for new clothing. non existent. so I thrift store for skirts. Thighs stick together: wear cut off leggings. Dressing comfortably not for the public . But for me. Just about to feel comfortable with who I am and then a person sidles up to me and asks THE question. when is the due date. due date? for what? oooooooooooooooooo I get it. just because I am wearing a blouse that does not show every detail of my torso and my skirt is below my ankles I must be with child? Dear me....

Back in February I was weary and broken hearted after my second miscarriage and the impending disruption of our domestic adoption. I asked my friends to give me their go to verse when on the down and outs....here is one such verse from my dear friend Geri. Lord, I thank you for Geri and for the verse she gave to me. Psalm 148:15 The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth. The Lord is near, to who? good and perfect Christians? NO to all who call on Him. ALL. Simply speaking HIS name- He is there. Crying out in Pain- HE is there. Silent gasping sobs- HE is there. Joyful laughter- He is there. A whisper for Help- He is THERE. To all who call on him in truth! All, Everyone. you, me the guy on the bus, your boss, the homeless guy at the intersection, the lady that you cut off today in traffic, the mean girl at school, the child surviving abuse, me at the bottom of a bottle, my friend with her crack pipe in her shaking hand, my D...

A while ago I asked my friends on Facebook to give me a go to scripture. I was weary, burdened, my heart hurt and my emotions were so very low. Over 25 friends took time to respond and in no particular order I am meditating on the scriptures that they shared and also praying for them at the same time.  So first will you join me and pray for my friend Geri . Lord today we lift Geri  up to you. I ask that you keep her sweet family safe and that their life be filled with love and laughter. I praise you for Geri hearing that small still voice and offering me me a  scripture from you  Lord in my time of need.  I thank you for her faithfulness and prayers. Amen.  OK, so Geri suggested Matthew 28:20 And teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always to the very end of the age. Teaching to obey everything. Life's trials do just that either you are listening and lea...

A while ago I asked my friends on Facebook to give me a go to scripture. I was weary, burdened, my heart hurt and my emotions were so very low. Over 25 friends took time to respond and in no particular order I am meditating on the scriptures that they shared and also praying for them at the same time.  So first will you join me and pray for my friend Ashley . Lord today we lift Ashley up to you. I ask that you keep her sweet family safe and that their life be filled with love and laughter. I praise you for Ashley hearing that small still voice and offering me me a  scripture from you  Lord in my time of need.  I thank you for her faithfulness and prayers. Amen.  OK, so Ashley suggested Exodus 14:14 The Lord will fight for you; you need only be still. Still- quiet, silent, stationary, motionless, calm   When I struggle the last thing I want to hear is be still. Yesterday as I was on La...

A while ago I asked my friends on Facebook to give me a go to scripture. I was weary, burdened, my heart hurt and my emotions were so very low. Over 25 friends took time to respond and in no particular order I am meditating on the scriptures that they shared and also praying for them at the same time.  So first will you join me and pray for my friend Melissa . Lord today we lift Melissa up to you. I ask that you keep her sweet family safe and that their life be filled with love and laughter. I praise you for Melissa hearing that small still voice and offering me me a  scripture from you  Lord in my time of need.  I thank you for her faithfulness and prayers. Amen.  OK, so Melissa suggested Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will hold you with my righteous right hand.  Isaiah 41:10 Journal Entry 4/18/15 * ...

. A while ago I asked my friends on Facebook to give me a go to scripture. I was weary, burdened, my heart hurt and my emotions were so very low. Over 25 friends took time to respond and in no particular order I am meditating on the scriptures that they shared and also praying for them at the same time.  So first will you join me and pray for my friend Natasha . Lord today we lift Natasha up to you. I ask that you keep her sweet family safe and that their life be filled with love and laughter. I praise you for Natasha hearing that small still voice and offering me me a  scripture from you  Lord in my time of need.  I thank you for her faithfulness and prayers. Amen.  OK, so Natasha suggested Isaiah 43: 18-19 Forget the former things; do not dwell in the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland... Isaiah...

A while ago I asked my friends on Facebook to give me a go to scripture. I was weary, burdened, my heart hurt and my emotions were so very low. Over 25 friends took time to respond and in no particular order I am meditating on the scriptures that they shared and also praying for them at the same time.  So first will you join me and pray for my friend Marti . Lord today we lift Marti up to you. I ask that you keep her safe and that her life be filled with love and laughter. I praise you for Marti hearing that small still voice and offering me not one but two scriptures from our  Lord in my time of need.  I thank you for her faithfulness and prayers. Amen.  OK, so Marti suggested Psalm 118:6-8 The Lord protects the simple hearted; when I was in great need, he saved me.  Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you.  For you, O Lord, have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling... Now...

A while ago I asked my friends on Facebook to give me a go to scripture. I was weary, burdened, my heart hurt and my emotions were so very low. Over 25 friends took time to respond and in no particular order I am meditating on the scriptures that they shared and also praying for them at the same time.  So first will you join me and pray for my friend Marti . Lord today we lift Marti up to you. I ask that you keep her safe and that her life be filled with love and laughter. I praise you for Marti hearing that small still voice and offering me a Word from our  Lord in my time of need.  I thank you for her faithfulness and prayers. Amen.  OK, so Marti suggested Psalm 42:11   Why are you so downcast, O my soul?  Why so disturbed within me ?  Put your hope in God, For I will yet praise him, my savior and my God.  Psalm 42:11 Tracy Translation and Breakdown provided with wisdom from my good old Webster's dictionary.  downcast:...