Wrestling with God and losing

So
everyone. I must write this. I am absolutely compelled.


I know you have seen the struggle, heard the
complaints, seen me go back and forth in chaos. Well. I have
a wild story to tell you.

I printed out a Bible Study a year ago. Purchased a
book called "anything" the same day and never even
opened the book. 5 weeks ago I set forth to get back into my
quiet time with God. In order to do that I dug in my basket
of studies that I have set aside for 2 years...due to
exhaustion and frustration. I dug deep and said. yep
let's do this one.



So I am halfway thru the study and it's absolutely
applicable in every way (in God's way) to the exact walk
I am taking TODAY. if I miss a day. BAM. it still applies.
the divine timing is not surprising. He wanted to wake me
up.



a few of the things that have slapped me in the face
recently from the book:



There was no turning back, but the deeper we were
falling into this rabbit hole of obedience, the more out of
control our lives began to feel. Can you imagine the day
after Mary heard from the Angel...Her true belief in God was
evidenced in the denial of herself and the consequences of
obedience.



now I can't sit here and type all the revelations that I
have read. I will send them piece meal. Because I know that
God is working. I know that I am fighting him tooth and
nail. Wrestling with God is like Pee Wee Herman fighting
Rocky. it's a no win situation.



unbelievable stuff going on here.

amazing grace.


Tracy