Moving forward with revelations this morning....
In the book "anything" I read the following words:
Somewhere in my life I picked up the idea that if things did not feel right or fall perfectly into place, God was not in them. I thought obeying God should feel pretty easy and convenient.
In Scripture God promises we will have trouble in this world.
the author goes on to say:
What if my life was going so beautifully because I wasn't chasing after God?
What if he actually told me what it is he wants me to do...and I don't want to do it?
and the best part she wrote:
I can just imagine God thinking something like, Thanks a lot, Jennie. Great. You'll be used by me , but no one else will ever want to ever be, because you are making it look so terrifying!
I have; I do need him. That has been the theme of the last two years of my life, and I see no relief in the future. He has stretched me to the places where fear should be paralyzing me, and yet I am OK.
So today's part of the book/bible study was to look up Mark 10: 17-31
what. go look it up...that's what my Momma always said!
Then I had to write down 2 observations:
The man lacked faith. All he had to do was leave everything he knew and then he could have everything.
But then I had to write down 2 applications:
I first wrote how the scripture looks in my life: I have been bound by my need to be comfortable, blinded by making things easy, deaf to hear God's calling by listening to my own loud shouts of wants and needs. I have thirsted for being normal and a life of boredom versus thirsting for His living water. There I said it. I have been a slack master. Holy Roller. Jive talkin' ain't doing the walkin' believer yet not doer of the Word of God.
He says it in James 1:27. Now the walk begins. Adoption is not simply signing a paper and bam. down the yellow brick road you go.
It's time for me to let go. Stop worrying about the neighbors peeking over the fence wondering what all the hollerin' is about. Stop apologizing for missing this and that because the "climate" in our house is well...a bit of a tropical storm many days.
My life will be different from your life. My hurts and troubles may seem wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy big and scary. But this is exactly where God has placed me and my family.
His Word is The Word.
We are not of this world, nor do we even try to pretend. We get raised eyebrows from many of the people we come into contact with. WE are doing Jesus work.
So if Bryan and I look worn down, or unkempt, or perhaps disheveled...it's alright...we have been out chasing after God.
I wish only sometimes I was not so transparent...but you can blame that on AA.
thanks for letting me share! ;)