Saturday, August 23, 2014

Prepared in Advance....stop the presses

Still pluggin' along doing my bible study with the book "anything" the prayer that unlocked my God and my Soul by jennie allen
  • We were each uniquely designed for certain works that God had prepared for us before the foundation of the world. While there are many works all Christians are called to (love, forgiveness, compassion, worship, etc.) we are each also given unique lives and specific works God uniquely calls us to. 
Ephesians 2:10
10 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
so, wait. I am trying to do a rewrite for God? how dumb is that. I am literally sitting on the edge of my seat with a red pen in hand saying:
not gonna work.
oh geez. that will never fly on network tv
wait. this scene is all wrong.
who cast HER?

yes. that is me. guilty as charged. Tracy, Editor for God.
that will not work on a resume'.

So at the end of Week 5 of this brilliant study I have hit a hot button. Control. ugh. I hate that word.
At the end of each week the study gives me digging deeper questions: so now I shall pontificate on them.
  • "How do we let God actually change us? "
Wow. so , here is what I have been doing....I let God save me from a life of drinking and destruction. That was cool. Who does not want to give up being an alcoholic? super fantastic. But wait. he wants all of me . I like some of my stuff. how about you take my insecurity...but may not go fish for my control issues. OK? back off. Can you just picture me saying Back Off to God? Wow I have a lot of work to do. Pride...can I hold on to that too. just a bit...maybe just the PRI of it? you get what I am saying...I am still holding on to stuff and this season of my life is a time for revelations and He is indeed helping me to realize what I have been gripping onto for way too long.

  • What is keeping me from jumping in and letting God take complete control.
Well that's a nice question Jennie....BECAUSE....I CAN DO IT BETTER. Doh! well now we all see where that got me right? I can't do it better, but for 43 years I sure have been trying to, outwit,outplay and  outlast God....welcome to Holy Survivor. give me your torch.

  • Can you think of an example from your experience where things were going a little too easily? How can we tell the difference between blessing and safeness?
oh dear. my youngest daughter just pulled a piece of paper out of the back of my planner that had a picture on it and said: Mommy, what is this?  I told her it was a diagram of her cubbies and when I used to have time I would go through them and sort, neaten etc each one...on a monthly schedule. (it's been two years since I did it) She went to put it back and I said: go recycle that.
that piece of paper from from the safe years. the easy life. cubby schedules, play dates, serving in the food pantry , date nights.


fast forward and adopt a tween....well. life got messy but it also got blessy. made that one up. if you can't learn on the fly do not adopt. if you can't continually get on your knees pray or ask for prayer, or pull your hair out one minute and then be laughing and loving the next minute. don't adopt. (pssst....don't listen to me....I am not an expert)

But I suspect if you love God. Like really really LOVE God , guess what you are jacked ! ....I am wrong. remember what I wrote at the top of this entry?  God already wrote our to do list.
It's not what you do...but how you respond to His call on your life.

I too was mislead by my quiet life of one tot, a husband working, debt reduction plan, once a week grocery shopping, laundry day, same old same old. But then...everything changed. When Bryan and I prayed the anything prayer Our prayer went from:
Dear God bring us a cute person under Cora's age so we can adopt.
To: God, we hear you. 0-18 years old. let's do this.

BAM. one month later. We saw a picture of our daughter. she was not little, she was not young, she was a TWEEN. what?! We are going to have a tween. ? God said yes. so..again...messy=blessy

I read something about adopting an older child: 
it was similar to the grieving cycle....
but made for parents of children with attachment issues....
and once you completed the circle of grief you come out on the other side
it's like a psychological birth. . . I have been in labor for two years...and we all know what comes at the end of a birth.....bigger pain, bigger screams and bam. responsibility.

I have a responsibility to show up and answer God's call.

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